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About bryanknower

I write and play music while struggling with my daily grind as a computer professional. I like nature, history, science, exploration and discovery. I'll try anything once, strive to keep and open mind and look for inspiration in all the wrong places. I wear my heart on my sleeve with a jacket over it so no-one notices. I'll question everything that sounds dogmatic to me, take information with a pinch of salt and feel I grow more cynical with every passing year. I like hard science fiction, noir fantasy and historical fiction and dabble in all three. My musical tastes run to progressive rock and blues, but I like classical music too. Currently I am indulging in Post-Rock music, aka ambient. I prefer cold weather to hot weather and I love Fall. My favorite color is turquoise (blue and green) in all its shades but I like to wear black. I'd rather drink wine and brandy than beer. I like being alone sometimes. I'm comfortable in my skin.

Hello WordPress world

So I have this new WordPress blog, and already anxiety about posting. I haven’t figured out yet whether I’ll write about writing, music or some other completely unrelated topic, but we’ll see. If this can push me to write a little more and write a little more frequently, then well and good. Motivation is the hardest thing for me. Sometimes I’ll write for a stretch, almost every day, other times my own personal lazy gremlin takes over and then it’s hard to get back in. I know I’m not the only one with this problem, but it’s something you can easily share. At least not verbally. This blog is like my own private therapist 🙂 (That’s what I call my ipod).

On a related (or unrelated) note, I managed to get a short story in to Glimmer Train Press for their August 31 deadline. The category was open to unpublished writers, or those whose work had appeared in a magazine with a circulation of 5000 or less. That certainly includes me; in the first category really, and I had to write like hell for three days to come up with a 6000+ word story based on my recent trip to Mexico. I visited a quaint little village named Salyuta there, and that was the name of my story. I hope people who know Salyuta won’t mind. I made it it out into a dark and dangerous place because I needed some excitement, but in reality, its a tourist oriented new-age hangout. Very proud of that effort. It was intense, including proof reading and editing at the last moment.

Mexico was great, but hot!!! So hot that I started blistering on my forehead and forearms by the end of the 7 days. My fault entirely for not using the fancy SPF70 sunblock that I bought at CVS the day before we left. But then, who thinks of applying sunblock on their head? I played golf (!!!) for the first time in Nuevo Vallarta, and I think the sun on the links was totally instrumental in making my head peel off. That was the least of my worries anyway. The unaccustomed exercise left me sore in my shoulders and forearms for days afterward. Never realized that the game was so physical. Lost quarts of sweat on the green and seemingly pounds of weight when on the scale back in the hotel but it was all just water under the bridge (or out of my body).

Also found a contest (sort of) on Writing.com that i thought was quirky and interesting. Not so much pressure there and definitely more low key. It’s a genre fiction thing, and I love dabbling in science fiction and noir fantasy. I’m sorely tempted to just dig in and write in the SF genre, just for the heck of it, but most literary rags look down on such stuff. Pity, because I enjoy reading it so much. At some point, I should explore all the online magazines, ezines and such that specialize in SF and see if I should make a switch.

All this of course just to keep me and my pen (or rather my fingers, keyboard and computer) occupied. The craziest part is I seem to be able to write more at work than at home, although it should be vice versa. too much distraction at home. In the office, once I’ve taken care of business I can always put in an hour or two of solid scribbling, and that seems to be the way I’m mostly operating nowadays. I have the same problem with music too. Luckily I practice with a band every Monday, otherwise I’ll not play at all. Just as an example, I got myself a new delay pedal from T.C.Electronics last Friday and I still haven’t taken it out of the box. The same old whinge applies here too. Too lazy so no time. I like sitting out on the porch with a drink and a book during the summer time when I get home, and it’s so damn hot anyways that I can’t do much else. So it’s like being caught between two devils. They’re standing on either shoulder, whispering in my ear, and I’m so distracted by both of them that I end up not paying any attention to either. Ce la vie

On the way to Salyuta
Looking towards Salyuta

The Catch 22 of posting writing snippets

Had to take some of my older posts down today. Not that anyone has looked at them, but they seemed to be potential candidates for submission to short short story ezines, and apparently, new submissions cannot appear in print or online anywhere. Bummer. So what do you post online if you can’t post your writing for fear of being unable to submit it later? I wish someone had an answer to this. I mean, simply posting random scribbling his hardly indicative of what you really write, and you can’t post better material for the reason I just mentioned above. Catch 22. I guess, once you have got them published, or if no one will actually touch the stuff, you can eventually put it back up. But seems a little sad to me.

Ancient Ecosystem Found in Ice Pocket: Discovery News

Ancient Ecosystem Found in Ice Pocket: Discovery News

Yet another Led Zeppelin rumor?

So I read today that Peter Mensch, Jimmy Page’s manager is stirring the Zep pot again. Enough with this humor/rumor business. Why can’t these guys just make up their minds and say out loud what we all know they really want to do?

I have no problems personally with Page, Jones and Jason Bonham going out with a singer of their choice. The guys are awesome enough to be a must-see under any circumstances. Whether they go as Zep is another question, but, to my mind, I’d rather see them as Zep than not see them at all.

I don’t get Robert Plant. I mean, his gig with Alison Krauss is cool, but where’s the balls in that? So okay, finish the tour and then do the Zep thing. Surely he couldn’t have been treated so badly in the old Zep that he can’t stand to work with these guys again? He’s worked with Page many times in the past. I have a sneaky feeling that he can’t really do those tunes anymore (I mean, the way he did them years ago).

As a final yell in this Zep rant, here’s my sincere request to the remaining members of the band…

Please please, guys, don’t take Steven Tyler out with you as a singer. That would be a disaster of epic proportions. Maybe David Coverdale, or Myles Kennedy, or Ann Wilson, as some forums are suggesting. Steven Tyler with Zeppelin would be like Mick Jagger fronting the Beatles. An abomination!

In any case, its going to be scramble to get tickets for this. Mark my words. These will be some of the hottest scores for 2009.

NIGHT MOON

Soft as a sigh gently exhaled,
Luna hoists her billowing sail.
Pursuing Sol’s bright spoor until
Subsumed by horizon’s veil.
Bringing respite from the toil of day,
Heralds the hour when lovers play.
Shadows slip silently over lip and sill,
Ghosts of clouds driven where they will.
Substance adheres to imagined form,
And furtive whispers swirl anon.

Quiescent after the clamorous fray,
The pulse of human commerce sleeps.
Only those stragglers on their way
To hearth and home, or tryst to keep.
Now the time of mouse and owl.
Of feline predators on the prowl.
While over all, the gleaming globe
Covers the earth in a shining robe.
A sea of hazy shimmering light,
Where mortal dreams slide through the night.

© Bryan Knower

Been feeling a bit tired lately, and I took to wondering whether the weather is related to whether I feel good on any particular day. If the temperature drops and the sun hides, does that trigger some synapse hiding in my brain, telling me “be sad?” Not to say that this is a new and original thought. People have been saying it for a long time. Must be some truth in it somewhere, kinda like ‘old wives’ tales or folk stories. Always a kernal of truth in that nucleus. I just remembered that in the Scandinavian countries, the rate of suicide is higher in the winter months when the sun disappears for months on end. So, does the sun feed the soul in some way? Why would a rational healthy person contemplate suicide just because its winter? After all, we are cognizent beings, and presumably all of those poor souls who actually carried through after contemplating must have know that the sun reappears after a time. A throwback to a more primitive age, when we didn’t actually ‘know’ as much as we think we do now? I’m thinking that there must be something hiding in the collective subconscious, and it is darker than we would like to let on. But wait a minute, what about the eskimo people? They don’t have such irrational thoughts, or do they. Who ever heard of an eskimo committing suicide because of the lack of sunlight during the arctic winter? Maybe they do, and I just don’t know about it. Gotta research this sometime. Anyway, I’m feeling much better now that I know others are more irrational than I am. Cheers!

And so it begins. I try not to look furtively over my shoulder as I do this. A blog? So what do I write in a blog? Doesn’t matter at this point. I’m writing in it already. So now people can read the crap I write and laugh. See, I’m paranoid already. That’s me, the paranoid scribbler, always looking at the dark side, and I don’t mean the Darth Vader kind of dark side. More like the ‘why the hell can’t I do better than this’ dark side. Maybe thats why most of what people write never sees the light of day? I am probably wrong with this. Wiki says there are millions of blogs out there, so tons of people are having their stuff exposed to the light of day. Then again, maybe not. Who reads this stuff anyway? Is this like an alternate universe where you can live vicariously as who you imagine yourself to be? What if others don’t like your alternate persona? Can you be as paranoid in an alternate universe as in this one? I feel like a dog trying to catch his tail. So close but always just out of reach. But I’ll catch that damn thing someday, even if I have to reach inside out and get it from within. If a blog goes unread does it exist? Does the simple act of writing on this page make it so? Maybe I should be the existential blogger, but I like paranoid better. I’m paranoid, (who would have guessed? ), and I’m paranoid that others are not as paranoid as I am. God, what a juvenile play on words. I should leave this before it gets worse, but I can’t. Like scratching a wound that’s scabbed over. You know its going to take longer to heal, but it feels sooooo good! Maybe tomorrow I’ll have something saner to say. Don’t follow me. I have no money and there is no computer in my car.